You’ve got a first date lined up—feeling hyped, jittery, and maybe wondering if you’ll survive without spilling something? You’re not alone. First dates are a cocktail of excitement, nerves, and anticipation. But don’t worry—I’m here to help you crush it. Let’s take all that energy and turn it into confidence with this guide to nailing your first date.
Whether it’s someone new from an app or a crush you’ve had for way too long, we’re covering everything from picking your outfit to keeping the convo flowing. You’re about to walk in there like you own the place.
Let’s start by tackling expectations (trust me, you want to set those straight). Then, we’ll move on to getting your mind and emotions ready—because let’s be real, half the battle is mental. I’ll also drop some tips for making a killer first impression and keeping things fun and engaging.
Ready? Let’s do this!
First Date Vibes: What’s the Deal?
First dates are your shot to see if there’s a spark—but remember, it’s not about locking things down right away. They’re sizing you up, but you’re also deciding if they’re worth a second date. Keep it chill and remind yourself this is just a meet-and-greet to see if there’s a vibe worth exploring.
Now, don’t get it twisted—first dates do matter because they set the tone for what comes next. Approach it like this: show up as your best self (but don’t overthink it), be real, and just focus on feeling things out. A good first date? Great, you’re one step closer to something awesome. A bad one? Hey, at least you know what you don’t want, right?
What to Expect on a First Date
Nerves? Oh yeah, expect those. You’re gonna feel that little flip in your stomach, maybe a sweaty palm moment or two—that’s part of the deal. But beyond that, expect some small talk, maybe a few laughs, and definitely a few awkward moments (it’s normal, I promise).
The first few minutes will be sizing each other up—it’s human nature. You’ll feel that “do I like them?” tension at first, but just roll with it. If the conversation is a little rocky in the beginning, that’s fine. It’s not always a perfect flow. Give it some time to warm up.
The main thing is to be open-minded. If you’re expecting instant fireworks, you’re setting yourself up for disappointment. Instead, go in with an attitude of curiosity. Ask questions, listen, and see if there’s more under the surface.
Common First Date Slip-Ups (And How to Dodge Them)
Let’s talk about those first date tripwires, starting with nerves. Look, being nervous is totally normal, but don’t let it rule the date. Take a few deep breaths before you walk in. No one is judging your nervous laugh or fidgety hands—just be you.
Another big one: talking too much. Look, I get it—you want to impress. But don’t spend the whole date telling your life story. Share something about yourself, then follow up with a question. Make sure the conversation is balanced—nobody wants to feel like they’re being interviewed or talked at.
One more? Don’t put too much pressure on it. If you’re too focused on “Will they like me?” you’re going to miss out on just enjoying the moment. Go in with the mindset of “Is this someone I could have fun with?” rather than trying to force a connection.
Prepping for a First Date: The Secret Sauce
Preparation is everything, but it’s not all about Googling your date’s life story. You want to get into a headspace where you’re calm, confident, and curious. This means doing some light research (if you met online, check out their profile again), but not obsessing.
Also, self-care is key. Get in a good headspace before the date. Whether it’s a quick workout, a call with your best friend, or a playlist that makes you feel like you can conquer the world—whatever gets you feeling centered and confident.
Know what you want from this date. Are you looking to have fun? To find someone serious? Setting your own expectations will help you stay grounded if things don’t go exactly as planned.
Location, Location, Location: Picking the Perfect Spot
The spot you choose can totally set the vibe for the date. A cozy coffee shop is great for keeping things relaxed, while a cute local restaurant can give off more “I’m making an effort” vibes. Want to show off your creative side? Try something different—like a walk in the park or a fun museum.
Pro tip: pick somewhere with low noise and a relaxed atmosphere so you can actually talk. First dates are about getting to know each other, so skip loud bars or places where you’ll be shouting over music all night. The more comfortable you are, the better the date will go.
What to Wear: Dress Like the Rockstar You Are
We’ve all stared at our closet for an hour wondering what to wear on a first date. The key? Keep it simple and true to your style, but take it up a notch. Don’t go too fancy, but don’t go overly casual either. You want to feel like you, but with that little extra something that says you’re putting in effort.
Think about where you’re going. Coffee shop? Jeans and a cute top. Dinner out? A well-fitted dress or smart-casual vibe. The point is to feel confident. If you’re constantly pulling at your outfit, you’re not going to enjoy the date.
Keeping the Conversation Going
This is where the magic happens—or, if you’re not prepared, where things can get awkward real quick. The trick is having a few icebreakers up your sleeve. Start with light, open-ended questions: What’s your dream vacation spot? What’s something you’re passionate about? These give your date the chance to open up without feeling like they’re in a job interview.
Avoid heavy topics like politics or religion (save those for later). And if the conversation does hit a lull, don’t panic! Make a joke about it or switch to a fun topic. If you’ve done your prep (like checking out their interests), you’ll have plenty to talk about.
Body Language: Let Your Moves Do the Talking
Words are great, but body language? It’s a game changer. Eye contact shows interest, a slight lean-in shows you’re engaged, and a relaxed posture says you’re comfortable. On the flip side, avoid crossing your arms or looking at your phone—this screams “I’m not into this.”
Watch your date’s body language too. Are they leaning in, making eye contact, or mirroring your movements? Good signs! If they’re fidgeting or looking away, it might mean they’re nervous, so don’t take it too personally. Use your own body language to put them at ease.
Wrapping It Up: Keep It Real
At the end of the day, first dates are all about the connection—not about being perfect. Embrace the awkward moments, laugh at the nervous jitters, and enjoy yourself. Don’t focus on impressing—focus on whether this person is someone you want to see again.
No matter what happens, just remember: it’s one date. If it goes great, awesome! If it doesn’t, there are plenty of other people out there. Just keep being your fabulous, authentic self, and you’ll have a blast.
You’ve got this—go out there and own that date!
Don’t have a first date lined up yet? Want to put this advice to the test? Hit up a local certified Matchmaker to help you find your perfect match. If you’re in Sacramento, CA, reach out to me! Let’s get you matched up and ready to crush that first date. Visit www.katmatch.com.
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